Flash bulbs, earthly stars, blinding bodies. Exclusive invites, Olympic-sized egos, one-night-only gowns garnering more than my recently sold classic convertible…

Oh em gee, I’ve at least a few more minutes before blossoming into some sort of eccentric, neon pink stardom that requires I red carpet affairs like the Golden Globes.

You, too, doll?

So let’s red carpet at your flat on Monday night. We’ll play pretend with your zebra shag carpet - squint, it’s unrolled and red - , your glossy concrete floor - here’s a champagne martini, there’s your glossy, star-strewn Los Angeles sidewalk - , and your MacBook’s web cam is undercover paparazzi.

Time to style right for your viewing pleasure.

It starts with your gown. You could do ankle to collar bone glamour a la this vintage Vera Wang lookalike (thanks for the tip, Lulu’s Vintage), say yes yes to this full-length Ya-Ya Catalina dress, or be a minx and mix it up with a subtly S-E-X, very little black dress, like Zac Posen’s silk faille dress.

“Looooove it…,” says Rose of John_and_Rose. “Can wear for any elegant party…”

Yep, including our Golden Globes shindig, doll. So -

“I might just have to buy it,” says Rose of John_and_Rose.

That’s my girl. You can easily rock it after, too, so long as you make sure the paparazzi doesn’t catch you, because the frock rocks like the-

“Cat’s meow,” says Kristine.

Meow, kitty cat, you’re right. What do you want to rock with your frock?

“Opera gloves worn outside the opera is just, oh, so mischievious!” says Kristine.

So these opera-length leather gloves by Carolina Amato? 

I dig it, because really, -

“Opera-length anything is enough to send my heart fluttering this season,” says LuxLotus, “but I especially love how these gloves perfectly carry short-sleeve jackets and sleeveless dresses into fall.” 

Let your driver take care of that changing temperatures - if he doesn’t get your car a  perfect 72 degrees, he’s fired. Your opera gloves are more the perfect way to clutch your clutch, the leather’s a perfect play against the glossy gold of this Jimmy Choo Cent metallic clutch, or maybe this Roberto Cavalli Satin print roll clutch. Perfectly lady is a vamp. Roberto’s trademark snake reminds people who tasted fruit from the tree of knowledge first, or maybe you just -

“Love this,” says Princess. 

I think it loves you back, the same way these Manolo Blahnik patent leather sandals and Bruno Frisoni patent platform sandals love your ong legs. 

Hmm, want to play with the fashion police, and frolic between a formal fashion do and don’t? Check these delish Bruno Frisoni satin shoe boots. You’ll get maybe as many thumbs up as thumbs down, though -

“This is too perfect of a shoe!”  says Rose of John_and_Rose. “Wrapped satin ribbon straps add sex appeal to this peep toe shoe. Mr. Frisoni did it again!!” 

Though I’m not sure about Joan Rivers - who is? - , I’m with you, and so’s Fikos Baby15, who thinks these peep toes “a lil sporty and a lil classy…  Exactly what I am!”

Exactly. Your K’s nominating you for best dressed.