Eugenia Kim’s ducky-belted straw hat is a metaphor for you and your toyfriend’s relationship, for any ideal partnership:

What’s fab for one involved party is equally beneficial to the other—you partner, sans sappy sacrificing for sloppy second bests.

Like with this hat: gift your guy, and he’s turned into a ten, GQing for you like his baseball cap had struck out, while still getting to skimp on fixing his hair.  

Prefer my pimping less promises and more real world results before investing $255? I’ll play you straight: since I’m dating myself, I bought the cap pour moi. And now I’m beautifully boss, without having to fluff my hair in the a.m.

For being so great a girlfriend, I let myself get to second base before noon.