Daily parading in five-inch heels, a beaded cocktail dress, and smoked-out eyes, it’s obvious -

I’m all about rocking practical. 

Truly. Dresses are an outfit in one piece, smoked-out eyes…  free me from other accessories, and five-inch heels -

So your girl K just likes to vibe yummy.

But I like playing matchmaker for happy marriages between S-E-Xy and sensibility, I do dig practically gorgeous, I like this Louis Vuitton monogram waist purse. Unlike your Speedy, ladies, it “becomes a belt bag with a belt,” says Jill Italiano. “I love it because I don’t have to carry a bulky purse around and I always need my hands free running after my three year old daughter.”

I sympathize, sometimes I’ve got my soy latte in one hand and my Treo 650 in my other, while I’m chasing my babies to be, my love children with  Giuseppe Zanotti.

It gets tough, so I understand why “I have just recently had my eye on this waist bag,” says Invade My Closet, “and I plan on purchasing in before the year is out. Perfect for those days when you just dont need a big handbag!” 

Kind like this Marc-y Marc by Marc Jacobs washed leather waist-pack, right? I figure this belt bag should be your winter sling, because slung around your waist the belt bag sits on your hips, low.

And wasp-y waists went out with ’50s housewives.

Trust me.

And more than that, “this Marc by Marc Jacobs belt bag is a great substitute [to bringing a purse to a club],” says Queen Michelle, of Kingdom of Style. “I’d actually wear it across my body rather than on my waist though because, and this is a slight deviation from the topic, I coveted, but could never find, a leather harness by Sass & Bide a few seasons ago.  It was a strange, and pointless, artifact but it would have looked amazing worn over a drapey top. Quite Roman I thought, and ever since then I have wanted some kind if non-kinky thing to wear across and on top of tops and T-shirts. This seems like the answer as it combines form and function!” 

You got it, doll. 

But if you need another reason why a waist pack does your body good, besides its saving you from numbing one shoulder? Jules Kim digs this leopard-print fanny bag because “being half Asian, I came with only half an ass so this fanny pack’ll make up for what I’m lacking.”

You’re gorgeous, doll, but if you want to vibe more bootylicious, you more than have my blessing. 

Hmm? Still not buying the fanny pack?

“Andrea, my designer friend, has brought back the fanny pack in an absolutely fashion-forward way!” says Joyce de Brevannes about this Silent Revolution “Ammo” bag.

No kidding, love. And this convertible wristlet/belt pouch/mini purse is all modern mod with its semi psychedelic print.  “A convertible handmade bag in gorgeous Japanese-inspired fabric,” says Simone. “What more could you want?”

The world.

But let’s chat about that later.