Grandpa Ed is confused and already has his reindeer cardigan on, your sister forgot her meds, and your cousin’s date is hitting on your boyfriend. Mom isn’t talking to Dad, Dad isn’t talking to Aunt Lola, and Aunt Lola is talking too much. Everyone else is loud, angry, depressed and just downright insane, but you?

You’re as happy as a Foster Farms chicken (unless someone is serving turducken) because your family and friends might be totally dysfunctional, but the Thanksgiving dinner and table you are preparing is going to be totally fabulous.

These are the things you need, from a fresh Heritage Farms turkey (that is, unless you happen to like cosmetically enhanced breast), to a good solid roasting pan; from color-coordinated cutting boards to gorgeous bamboo salad bowls.

See more of my thanksgiving dinner for a dysfunctional family list at ThisNext.