There’s a reason why “BFF” isn’t text message-ese for “boy friend forever.”

Though I love you fellas.

Nope, your BFF is your best friend for ever (and a day), so skip spending your time hunting for wearable chocolates and edible lingerie for your boy, and invest your Valentine time and money in your true love.

You could do her a box of See’s candy heart chocolates, though I know my platonic lover would play polite - smile, “Thanks,” trash - but have none of that.

We like to keep fit for each other.

ThisNexter Chantel gets it:

“Girls should get practical and sparkly gifts for Valentine’s Day.”

Type that a little louder, I want everyone to hear you. Shiny shiny is key.

“Buy her a [Aspects butterfly-print suede clutch],” says Chantel, “she’ll use it and think of you a lot longer than she would trying to lose the weight from the chocolate.

Yep. Knowing my lady, she’d prefer a non-fat, carb-free Louis Vuitton multicolored heart purse from Saint Valentine Collection. In their classic rainbow monogram, she’ll let a out a low whistle, and ask -

“LV, will you be my valentine?” says  Haute_Girl.

If Monsiuer Vuitton says, “Nope,” put your K down on your VIP list, doll.

Maybe then you can spell out, K-R-i-S-T-O-P-H-E-R on your hot little body with Adore Me, Adorn Me™ body bling.  Or just gift your it to your BFF so she can accessorize her littlest black dress while you girl about town the 14^th, so she can -

“Bejewel yourself in all the sexiest places, then get ready to show some serious bling,” says Szlea.

Fabsolutely, doll. And all the boys in the coffee shop’ll be -

“(He’ll be stuck on you,)” says Szlea.

Give yourself some credit, love.

Lose the parentheses, and let’s change that pronoun from a S-E-Xy single to the plural, let’s play with “they’ll.”

As in “They’ll turn green checking your chick’s pink classic heart from the original bling Queen Judith Leiber.” Because for your BFF -

“There’s still no gift like an original Judith Leiber, the Queen of Bling, long before it was called ‘bling,’ ” says Laura Sweet. “Her classic austrian crystal hand-studded pink heart-shaped pill box will run you $395.00 but it’s worth the look in her eyes when she opens it.” 

And maybe worth the look of your boy BFF, but for opposite reasons. We’ll skip the shiny shiny for your BFF the boy, and Daniel of Men’s Fashion at About.com has three pennies to put in, though I’m sure you ladies have the same cents and sense:

“Novelty underwear and ties. Never a good choice. It is my personal objective to steer everyone away from making this mistake. Goofy or cutesy prints and patterns are amusing for about ten nanoseconds.” 

I’ll keep that in mind, love, before I send you my Valentine.