Some kittens prefer cats for animal companionship, more dames dig dogs, still others love a significant other.

And I collect the company of glammy dead animals—snaky clutches, ponyskin pumps, seal muffs—much for the same reason average Angies buy dogs: they get attention when I’m walking, they have me meeting other animal lovers (“That’s not real, is it? It is, isn’t it?”). And unlike Fido, whose charms wear fast, dead animals retain their value.

My latest lust is a Victorian doctor’s bag, detailed with actual alligator hands. Equally urbane and primal, it’s a celebration of being on top of the food chain, it’s a carnivore’s carry-on ensuring an empty seat next to you on the plane, it’s a practical bag for sensitive souls opposed to constantly killing cotton for clothing.

Totally ten, only I wonder—

Think there’s a version made with a vegetarian’s paws?