It’s foggy in San Francisco. Big surprise. Due to my low serotonin levels I got depressed this morning and thought about an ex-colleague that made my life miserable. I wrote her a letter that I will likely never send:

Dear Finance woman who never smiles except when someone else is hurt or fired,
You are cancer.  I quit my job to get out of the same building as you because I started to get paranoid about natural disasters. I thought about all of those people trapped during Hurricane Katrina and it scared me to think that my last moments might be spent tolerating a bitter self-serving shrew like you. I suspect that when the shit goes down you will not be invited onto any life rafts…not unless you’ve managed to hoard food. Do everyone a favor and take more vacations.
Absolutely no Love,
Dana (The only Asian you know)

PAINMAKERS & KILLJOYS
Let’s face it, there are some people who make every interaction so excruciating that violence IS the answer. They are the cronies of cubicle culture, the saboteurs of other people’s success and the ones who make waiters spit in food. When you spend the majority of your waking life around these assholes you begin to plan your exit strategy pretty quickly.

LIVING OFF THE GRID
Convinced that I was dangerously close to going postal on my coworkers, I considered buying land in Molokai - possibly right next door to Eddie Vedder. That’s when I discovered Pacific Yurt. Don’t worry they don’t smell like donkey (they’re not even made with any animal bits). The Pacific Yurt ranges in diameter from 12- 30 feet and costs between $5,000-$10,000. It’s an inexpensive and self-contained structure for living, guest space or a summer home. I’ve actually even stayed in a spa-hotel yurt equipped with a full bath suite and ocean-front deck with hot tub. My plan was to get the land, buy the yurt as temporary housing, build a house when I got the money and convert the yurt into a painter’s studio. The dream is still alive…I just need that side of the island to get wifi.

*Note: This smaller option is better for camping or Burning Man.